I stumbled on a poem I wrote while developing my ideas for Grace. I wrote this poem almost four years ago and, surprisingly, it encapsulates the character as she unfolded in the book. It was written as a letter from her to her husband-a suicide note of sorts. Now I need to decide whether to include it in the book somehow. Here it is, let me know your thoughts:
My mind slides back and forth like a breeze
caressing each branch of a tree,
gently rocking the chimes,
tossing the leaves about.
No longer still.
No longer steady.
No longer constant.
Just as the wind dies down at the end of the day,
slipping over the waves and chasing the setting sun,
I feel my mind kissing the tips of my fingers,
As the sea swallows the sun
the air stills and the darkness falls.
I pray for peace
and that my heart, too, will still.
For I cannot live in the place of the unknown
where I do not know my own name
Where my mind is shut,
my memories sealed away forever.
For without them, I am but a shell.
No longer here.
Locked away in an abyss where no one,
not even you, my love,
can rescue me.
So because I sense that dark night creeping
and my love for you flickering out
I must leave you.
Please forgive me and do not be angry.
For it is not my intent to harm,
but to save you from an intense sorrow that would scar your heart,
change you from the man I love,
and rob you of your fondest memories of me.
To save our tender love and you from excruciating pain,
I leave you.